Dawn of the New Age of Hipster…

Michael Bolton at the Grammy Awards

Image via Wikipedia

Alright man- by today’s definition, I am definitely a hipster.  I know this because I was born in 1981 to parents that graduated into the summer of love in 1967.  My Dad played in a psychadelic rock band in the 70’s Cleveland Ohio music scene.  I was raised on the Beatles, Aerosmith and Led Zeppelin and later got way into Soundgarden and Nirvana.  I use the word “man” in at least every sentence as a noun, verb, adjective, pronoun or adverb.  I enjoy dark roasted coffee.   I’m cynical at times, as well as addicted to the pain that brings about “real art”.  I get irritated by people who say they like a band but don’t know the band’s obscure B-side songs.  I have a hunger for all things “retro” and would be willing to convert my entire music collection to vinyl if it wouldn’t be so stinkin’ expensive.

So much like many of my 18 to 34 year old peers, I am a hipster.

However, I agree with Julia Plevin of the Huffington Post, who argues that the “definition of ‘hipster’ remains opaque to anyone outside this self-proclaiming, highly-selective circle”. She claims that the “whole point of hipsters is that they avoid labels and being labeled. However, they all dress the same and act the same and conform in their non-conformity” to an “iconic carefully created sloppy vintage look”.

So as an awareness of my own “conformity to non-conformity”, I’m going to create new trends that will blow everyone away and put all my fellow hipsters to shame.

For example- I’m going to bring back pleated pants and polos!  Seriously man- that might be the most uncool thing that exists right now.  Anyways, I was in an Urban Outfitters in Philly PA not too long ago and noticed that early 1990’s jogging jackets were back in.  Why don’t we just go the whole way and get preppy!

Also, I’m going to bring back an appreciation for great artists like Michael Bolton and Richard Marx.  Seriously- these guys were the ones that were truly pushing the boundaries of music back in the day!  So along with that we need to bring back 80’s electric pianos and Van Halen “Jump” type synthesizer sounds into music.

Vans?  Converse All-Stars?  You can forget it!  I’m going to bring back penny loafers- with a penny in them!  I’m going to wear them with white socks and shorts too!

Here’s the point man.  I’m tired of all this conformity to non-conformity!  So I’m going to start a trend towards “non-conformity to conformity”!!!  That’ll show em’ all man.  They’ll like name a magazine after me or something 🙂


2 thoughts on “Dawn of the New Age of Hipster…

  1. Benito,

    Looks like you’ve got some stiff competition out there. I don’t know if you’re hipster enough to really pull this off. But then again what do I know? I’m not a hipster, just the most non-conformist person you’ll ever meet. You know it’s true.


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