Man, I love how we spiritualize people whom we consider to be “ancient”! Well, not really.
Let’s take “Saint Paul” for example. This was a man who was once deeply disturbed by his own religious mania. He says of himself in his writing to a young apprentice named Timothy: “I was once a blasphemer and a persecutor and a violent man, I was shown mercy because I acted in ignorance and unbelief.” We need to see that this guy gave license to the murders of many loving, righteous, gentle people because he was so driven by fanaticism for keeping the law of Moses. So much was his rabid extremism that he actually missed the heart of the law of Moses, and instead became an oblivious dogmatist.
Paul didn’t know any better at that time, but later on “The grace of His Lord was poured out on me abundantly, along with the faith and love that are in Christ Jesus.” Paul had acted in ignorance and dubiety. If he had known truly before what he knew later, he would have acted differently. So stark was the contrast of the latter Paul to the former, that he would also say; “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners—of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his immense patience as an example for those who would believe in him and receive eternal life.”
I love this fact, because most “Christians” have this picture painted of them by others as being holier than thou perfectionist do-gooders. But here we have Paul, admittedly the worst of the worst, and he is also the writer of practically half of the post Jesus trans-mundane texts. That gives hope for people who were once whacky like me… or maybe you currently are.