Being Meek in an Anger, Result-Driven Church Culture

There may have never been an era where the modern protestant, evangelical church (though it’s hard to know what to label it these days) in it’s most obvious American expression, looks more like a corrupt institution that is more obviously influenced by hip, entrepreneurial business “ethics” than what it needs to be according to scripture.  There are many great gatherings of Christ-followers all over the world- big, medium, little, underground, and mega-size, that are filled with richness, depth, and humble leadership.  But my concern in this post is with the trend I’m too often seeing in some organizations.  It’s sad to even see the downfall of great movements all because of a lack of humility, character and poise.

This is most obvious in the approach of leaders who desire to accomplish results through un-Christlike approaches of fear, control, guilt, force, threat, intimidation, bullying, and overwork.  This type of approach certainly gleans temporary results. But we’re now beginning to see just the front end of many churches that will rise up to great heights and flame out, because they are so result, innovation, and productivity driven, that they replace the sweetness and gentleness of Christ with these things and begin to slowly drift away from His heart.  There will be many churches that rise and fall in the next twenty years that appear to be the most impressive on the outside, but like an amazing mansion with an exterior of gold and rotting walls on the inside, these churches look the best on the surface but are inwardly rotting with many silent viruses- sickness of pride, stress, sin, burn-out and frenzy.  It’s sad to see it happening.  Never has there been a time more when “the meek” of whom Christ spoke of, are needed.

Matthew Henry’s Commentary talks about the words of Jesus in Matthew 5:5, which says “Blessed are the meek, for they shall inherit the earth.”, and states:

III. The meek are happy (Matt. 5:5); Blessed are the meek. The meek are those who quietly submit themselves to God, to his word and to his rod, who follow his directions, and comply with his designs, and are gentle towards all men (Titus 3:2); who can bear provocation without being inflamed by it; are either silent, or return a soft answer; and who can show their displeasure when there is occasion for it, without being transported into any indecencies; who can be cool when others are hot; and in their patience keep possession of their own souls, when they can scarcely keep possession of any thing else. They are the meek, who are rarely and hardly provoked, but quickly and easily pacified; and who would rather forgive twenty injuries than revenge one, having the rule of their own spirits.

If you’re a follower of Christ and find yourself as a pastor in a situation where there is provocation, anger, and impatience deeply embedded into the culture of the staff you work in- take courage and be gentle and loving.  As a pastor friend of mine once reminded me; “The Lord will lift up your head if you bow it”.  Be humble.  Be meek when no one else is.  It may be that the gentleness and love of Christ will act as a balm of healing towards the situation through you.  If you’re becoming overwhelmed by the culture and unsure of what to do next, I highly recommend reading Ed Stetzer’s article here.

Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson on the Gay Lifestyle and Christianity: A Christian Response

Phil Robertson of the A&E mega-hit “Duck Dynasty” was recently interviewed in GQ magazine by writer Drew Magary in what erupted into an all too common media firestorm over his comments on behalf of Christianity and the Bible’s view toward the LGBT community.  These were his main comments about the general subject of “sin”, “Start with homosexual behavior and just morph out from there. Bestiality, sleeping around with this woman and that woman and that woman and those men… Don’t be deceived. Neither the adulterers, the idolaters, the male prostitutes, the homosexual offenders, the greedy, the drunkards, the slanderers, the swindlers—they won’t inherit the kingdom of God. Don’t deceive yourself. It’s not right.” (http://www.gq.com/entertainment/television/201401/duck-dynasty-phil-robertson#ixzz2oVPZ4iI3)

Phil was re-quoting the apostle Paul, who wrote; “Or do you not know that the unrighteous will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: neither the sexually immoral, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor men who practice homosexuality, nor thieves, nor the greedy, nor drunkards, nor revilers, nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” (1 Cor. 6:9-10)

Instead of focusing on a person, let’s just look at this from a Christian perspective.  I made the mistake in my original article of being critical of Phil, and I apologize.  It’s wrong to cut down anyone made in the image of God, and I’m working on never doing that.

But I think it’s important that we’re careful not to take point blank, rifle shots into unwilling targets (pardon the pun).  To put it another way, statements like these are black and white responses sent into a culture of grey.  Black and White becomes obscured in the color grey, and those in a grey culture can’t tell what is what.  One can’t make comments like that without some intense explanation, because people who don’t believe it simply just don’t understand.  I think it’s fair to add that we shouldn’t joke about gay sex as Christians, or even human beings, in 2013, or any age for that matter…  I’m not saying I haven’t been guilty of it myself. But I do recognize that I need to change.

It’s possible to present content that is biblical, yet have an approach that is un Christ-like.  We Christians do it all the time.  I’ve done it many times.

Our current society is in the throes of what many would label a Civil Rights revolution for the gay community.  After years in America of anti-Sodomy laws, and unfair discrimination against the gay community, the pendulum has swung to the other extreme.  November 27th, 1978 was the day that early gay rights activist Harvey Milk was killed.  Since then culture has been slowly but surely shifting. Now it is 2013, and fantastically well written and well performed shows like “Modern Family” and “Chicago Fire” (both I am a HUGE fan of because they’re so well done!) champion gay rights issues openly.  The greatest influencers in our culture have shifted in America towards being a pro-gay majority.  It is a time when any anti-gay comments made are viewed as bigotry.

Yet as followers of Jesus, we are left with the text of 1 Cor. 6:9-10, and others that clearly define any expression of gay sexuality, whether in committed monogamy, personal pornography, or promiscuity, as against the way of God.  It’s defined clearly.  Theological debates that try to contradict this are philosophical aerobics at best…

So what are Christ followers to do in a culture that promotes the gay lifestyle, while the scriptures call it wrong?

We’re called to live in the tension…  Don’t forget the words and way of Jesus…

In Jesus’ greatest sermon, He taught us to never retaliate against someone who hates or wrongs us, and to love our enemies. (Matt. 6:38-48) Granted, we are to be honest and share our convictions. But it should never be done in an insensitive, uncaring way.  I’d have to ask the natural question of every Christian who makes comments that will impact the gay community, have they ever had a real, substantive friendship with someone who struggles in the inward battle of same sex attraction?  Thats my advice to Christians.  Are you insensitive toward the LGBT community?  Make some friends.  I’m serious.  Start tomorrow.

I understand that some cultures tend to be blunt, matter of fact, and conservative.  I understand that, and take that into consideration.  I have friends in cultures like that.  The core of many of my convictions would naturally be labelled conservative.  But I still think as followers of Jesus we are all challenged to be continual learners of what it means to love God and neighbor.  It doesn’t matter if we’re rural, suburban, urban, first, second or third world.  It doesn’t matter if we’re rich or poor, or influenced by rigid Christianity or loose morality.  We can all learn and follow Jesus.  Those of us who claim to follow Jesus need to continually evolve in our faith, and not stay in any place of insensitivity and ignorance that could potentially harm our influence.

Jesus instructed his disciples to “be wise as serpents and innocent as doves.” (Matt. 10:16) We shouldn’t give fodder to insensitive legalists who have a hatred for culture and are desperately fighting for a comfortable, pressure-free American Christianity that allows them to blast out their convictions with a proverbial bullhorn.  We need to dig deeper, past our judgments, and see clearly the people who are broken and hurting… introducing them to Jesus so that their lives are forever changed.  We should never throw gasoline on the fire of ungracious Christianity.

The verse after 1 Cor. 6:9-10 is important to consider.  After giving a list of sins in 1 Cor. 6:9-10 that exclude people from eternity, Paul states; “And such were some of you. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”  Paul meant that before all these “sinners” left their lifestyles behind completely, they were touched by God’s grace, their slate was wiped clean, and God viewed them as a brand new creation because of the gift of Jesus’ Christ’s death for them.

The way the apostle Paul said it in 1 Cor. 6:11 leads us to believe that he was friends with people who were “sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, gay, thieves, greedy people, drunkards, revilers, and swindlers”.  In fact, we know he was.  The New Testament church of the first century had all of these people, coming out of the pagan Roman culture, as some of their founding mothers and fathers, alongside people coming out of an extremely judgmental religious culture as well!  Why wouldn’t Paul have actually loved and cared for people in all of these lifestyles?  Read the gospels!  Jesus most certainly did!  And Paul was very serious, to the point of risking his life daily while following Jesus.

Paul was also writing these verses to people who had already become Christians.  All of the New Testament letters were written to Christians.  In effect, Paul was saying; “You used to live like this when I met you, and then you believed in Christ, so now your life has to change!”  He wasn’t pointing at culture and saying “stop all of these things or you’ll go to hell”, even though that is true…  He was far more concerned with people getting to know Jesus, and having their lives revolutionized by His love and truth, and that was what could bring about the change.

We need to be tactful, loving, sensitive, and helpful to those who don’t follow Jesus.  We can share the truth and still do this.

For a good example of a public figure describing their view of the gay lifestyle, check out Bill Hybels’ comments here:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MFhSfr13Y6o

Related articles

• A&E Suspends Duck Dynasty’s Phil Robertson Following Anti-Gay Comments (people.com)
• Sarah Palin: ‘Intolerants’ Behind Phil Robertson’s Suspension Attacking ‘All of Us’ (breitbart.com)
• ‘Duck Dynasty’ star Phil Robertson suspended by A&E after comments on homosexuality (fox43.com)
• ‘Duck Dynasty’ dad Phil Robertson suspended after controversial gay remarks (kansascity.com)
• ‘Duck Dynasty’ star ignites wrath of ‘gays’ (wnd.com)
• ‘Duck Dynasty’ Star Bashes Gays (thewrap.com)
• Future Of ‘Duck Dynasty’ Show In The Air (houston.cbslocal.com)
• Duck Hunt: The Phil Robertson ‘GQ’ Quote the Media Refuse to Report (breitbart.com)
• Phil Robertson Defends Anti-Gay Comments: ‘All I Did Was Quote From the … – ABC News (blog) (abcnews.go.com)

God Can Save Homer Simpson and Ned Flanders

“It’s always the person you least expect!” (Photo credit: Vaguely Artistic)

I’m a huge fan of cop/crime TV shows like Law and Order, Bones, Ironside and Covert Affairs.  All these shows have heroes who do amazing, brave things to save lives and uphold justice.  But usually each character also has personal issues- they’ve got to occasionally get drunk, or sleep with someone, or flip out and beat someone up for no reason.  That’s human nature of course.  But where’s the hero who does brave things, saves lives, upholds justice, has huge compassion for hurting people, and also lives a pure life?

Paul wrote to the Romans about the history of self-liberation through numbing yourself that led to the culture he lived in- Rome.  And the Romans were wild, but they were pretty much as wild as any culture that gets power.  There is an emptiness that comes from liberating ourselves through numbing ourselves…  It’s a fact.  It’s not just that God is an angry judge waiting to punish our failures.  It’s also that the natural world is set up in such a way that self-destructive or other-destructive behavior has consequences.  In Romans 1, Paul is telling the history of a word that rubs us the wrong way- “sin”.

¹⁸ For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all ungodliness and unrighteousness of men, who by their unrighteousness suppress the truth. ¹⁹ For what can be known about God is plain to them, because God has shown it to them.²⁰ For his invisible attributes, namely, his eternal power and divine nature, have been clearly perceived, ever since the creation of the world, in the things that have been made. So they are without excuse. ²¹ For although they knew God, they did not honor him as God or give thanks to him, but they became futile in their thinking, and their foolish hearts were darkened.²² Claiming to be wise, they became fools, ²³ and exchanged the glory of the immortal God for images resembling mortal man and birds and animals and creeping things. ²⁴ Therefore God gave them up in the lusts of their hearts to impurity, to the dishonoring of their bodies among themselves,²⁵ because they exchanged the truth about God for a lie and worshiped and served the creature rather than the Creator, who is blessed forever! Amen. 26 For this reason God gave them up to dishonorable passions. For their women exchanged natural relations for those that are contrary to nature; 27 and the men likewise gave up natural relations with women and were consumed with passion for one another, men committing shameless acts with men and receiving in themselves the due penalty for their error. 28 And since they did not see fit to acknowledge God, God gave them up to a debased mind to do what ought not to be done. 29 They were filled with all manner of unrighteousness, evil, covetousness, malice.  They are full of envy, murder, strife, deceit, maliciousness. They are gossips, ³⁰ slanderers, haters of God, insolent, haughty, boastful, inventors of evil, disobedient to parents, ³¹ foolish, faithless, heartless, ruthless. ³² Though they know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them. (Romans 1:18-25;29-32)

Before I was a follower of Jesus- I was a drug addict, and I used to feel that I had to sin somehow before I went to bed everyday, just to get to sleep.  So I can relate to this passage, because I lived it.  The reason why I was hooked on sin is because inside my soul was basically empty, and I had to keep myself numb on a daily basis because I didn’t want to come face to face with myself… I was trying to get free through drugs, and sometimes other stuff.

We live in a culture that says we’re really free when we’re having fun- when we’re high, when we have a bunch of money and stuff, when we’re drunk, and when we’re doing wild sexual stuff.

We’re basically trying to be God when we do that, because when we let those things run our lives, we’re acting as if we can escape the consequences of them.  We know better, because we see how these behaviors affect others, but we tend to do them anyways because they feel good for the moment.  For a second they may make us numb to reality.  But when we’re caught up in the wrong emphases, and make the wrong things “little gods”, we end up destroying things that matter- like relationships, personal responsibilities, and choices that enrich and fulfill our lives.

I hope now you’re saying; “Yeah Ben, what about religious jerks though?”  Paul covers that too so it’s time to flip to the other side of the problem, which is actually no different than “sin proper”, because religious pride is just as bad as heroin addiction and prostitution in the eyes of a perfect, loving God.

When we look on TV, movies and the internet for a “Christian”, what we usually find is a self-righteous, judgmental, arrogant goodie-two shoes that is socially awkward, unfriendly and ignorant.  I’m thirty-two years old, so I can’t help but think of the Simpsons‘ Ned Flanders.  Ned was the typical “evangelical” in the eyes of pop culture.  He was judgmental, plastic, happy-go lucky, clean-cut, seemed to have it all together, and was constantly trying to convert the working class hero Homer Simpson.  It’s important to say that Ned’s attempts to convert Homer were always obnoxious and aimed at behavior-modification, and not pointing lovingly and humbly to a God of amazing love, truth and grace.

In the Bible, Paul addressed people like this too- those who make up the mainstream of “Christians” in America.  These were people that were trying to liberate themselves by being self-righteous and moralistic.  I think it’s almost helpful to replace the word “Jew” here with “religious person”, because the Jews of the time were the most prone to being religious and moralistic.  It’s also helpful to replace the word “Gentile” with “irreligious persons”, because they were those outside the normal boundaries of God’s kids in the first century.

¹⁷ But if you call yourself a Jew and rely on the law and boast in God ¹⁸ and know his will and approve what is excellent, because you are instructed from the law; ¹⁹ and if you are sure that you yourself are a guide to the blind, a light to those who are in darkness, ²⁰ an instructor of the foolish, a teacher of children, having in the law the embodiment of knowledge and truth— ²¹ you then who teach others, do you not teach yourself? While you preach against stealing, do you steal? ²² You who say that one must not commit adultery, do you commit adultery? You who abhor idols, do you rob temples? ²³ You who boast in the law dishonor God by breaking the law. ²⁴ For, as it is written, “The name of God is blasphemed among the Gentiles because of you.” (Rom. 2:17-24)

I’m guilty of this attitude that Paul speaks of all the time as a Christian in my heart.  But I know better now not to open my mouth and spout out the crap that is in my heart before I ask for God’s help to weed out the garbage in there.

Remember, the term “Christian” wasn’t really a normal part of religious talk in the first century- so Paul’s really just talking to religious people- What Paul was basically saying is that if we are a religious person, we need to live up to all the standards that we hold others to.  Here’s what we’ll find if we do that- we’ll realize how messed up and in need of help we are, and that we’re really no better than anyone, no matter how much “righteousness” we’ve attained.

And here’s another fact- if you’ve overcome some kind of bad behavior in your life for real, the last thing you’ll do is be condemning to someone who’s struggling with it.  You’ll want to help them out of it, right?

So I’ve got to ask myself, am I sitting under all the stuff I preach about?

This is also a way to act like I’m God- as if I know better than Him.  As if I’ve got it so together in my Christianity that I can tell others how messed up they are, but never have to look in the mirror!

So both numbing ourselves to get free and being self-righteous and religious to get free are intentionally or maybe unknowingly taking the place of God in trying to save ourselves…

Paul talks about this too by quoting the Old Testament:

We have charged that all, both Jews and Greeks, are under sin,

¹⁰ as it is written:

“None is righteous, no, not one;
¹¹     no one understands;
no one seeks for God.
¹² All have turned aside; together they have become worthless;
no one does good,
not even one.”
¹³ “Their throat is an open grave;
they use their tongues to deceive.”
“The venom of asps is under their lips.”
¹⁴     “Their mouth is full of curses and bitterness.”
¹⁵ “Their feet are swift to shed blood;
¹⁶     in their paths are ruin and misery,
¹⁷ and the way of peace they have not known.”
¹⁸     “There is no fear of God before their eyes.” (Rom. 3:9b-18)

So whether you’re a crazy party-addict, greedy businessman, or self-righteous religious person- you’re doomed.  Ok?  See ya later!

Now it’d be crazy if I just left it at that, wouldn’t it?  Churches are all to often guilty of that.  Churches sometimes send a message of total condemnation and rule-keeping, with no hope for grace, forgiveness and love.  The Bible doesn’t do that, and neither should we who call ourselves its’ adherents.

Here’s what Paul said way back in Romans 1 before he even started his rant:

¹⁶ For I am not ashamed of the gospel, for it is the power of God for salvation to everyone who believes, to the Jew first and also to the Greek. ¹⁷ For in it the righteousness of God is revealed from faith for faith, as it is written, “The righteous shall live by faith.” (Rom. 1:16-17)

The gospel says that Jesus saved us…

In the Greek, the phrase “righteousness of God” can actually also mean “righteousness from God”.  It’s a double meaning.  It’s easy to read these words and think that Paul is saying that the gospel is pointing to the righteousness of God.  In other words, it shows human beings how supremely screwed up they are, and shows how God is perfect, and if we live by faith, we’ll gruelingly learn to live perfectly too, to no complete satisfaction in this life, but we’ll at least skim the edge…

All of this is true.  The gospel of Jesus Christ’s death and resurrection does surely reveal how messed up we are, and points us in relationship to a holy, perfect God who demands total and complete obedience and allegiance to Him from His followers.

But we don’t accomplish this obedience in one fell swoop.  It’s not possible.  We fail constantly every minute, day, week, hour, month and year of our lives.

When we understand the secondary meaning “righteousness of God” also being “righteousness from God”, it changes everything.

Christ was a gift.  God allowed Him to be sacrificed for us so that His perfection and flawless obedience to the Father, followed by an unjust, excruciating punishment of death, would take the place of our imperfect, flawed obedience to the Father, and our just punishment of death.  When God looks down at the Christ-follower, He sees Jesus instead of that person.  Me, Ben White, full of all my ridiculous, bizarre, ungodly thoughts…  God sees Jesus’ perfection instead of my garbage.  That is an insane gift friends.  Do you really understand it?  Do you really know it?

So for those of us entrapped in irreligion and self-destruction, as well as those of us sucked into the vortex of self-righteous religion and pious pride- the gift of possible freedom is the same:  Rest in what Christ has done, and live out of that peace and assurance.

God’s Layout For Married People

Wedding (Photo credit: 蓝上弦)

So I want to charge all married people to remember and live by these words that the apostle Paul wrote, and whenever you’re going through struggles, meditate on Ephesians 5:21-33:

Let’s look at verses 21 through 24 first…

“Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Eph. 5:21-24)

Now let’s stop here for a second.  A lot of people think that these verses mean that Paul was saying wives should be doormats and cook and clean and do laundry and be at their husband’s beck and call.  You ready for that ladies?  Well good news, that’s not it!  To submit means simply to trust, honor and respect someone- and the rest of life’s duties you can figure out together.  It may sound like a swearword in our culture, mostly because of dudes that may even call themselves Christians and abuse this- expecting their wives to be pretty little perfect slaves for their every need, or guys who work all day and then sit on their butts and order their wives around when they get home.  But it’s not an ugly thing, biblical submission is a beautiful thing.  God created men and women equally, but they each have different roles to fulfill in marriage, and when you both fulfill those roles, things will be flowing and your life together will be full of joy and meaning!

On the flip side, some ladies have read these verses and reacted strongly against them.  A feminist in 1969 was quoted to say; “A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle .”  Unfortunately this spirit of reactionary hate has bled into the mindset of our culture, to the point where women (and some men) view women as superior, and not equal, to men.  Interestingly enough, marijuana usage became commonplace in the late sixties.  “Marijuana reduces the level of testosterone in men; however, it increases the amount of testosterone in women.” (http://www.uhs.uga.edu/aod/marijuana.html)  I don’t find this to be a strange coincidence!

The sixties mentality of feminine superiority over males was also a reaction to the chauvinism of the 1950’s as typically portrayed in commercials such as this 1957 ad for Pepsi:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=113mRmchumY  There’s nothing awful about the ad, but it does stereotype women in ways that don’t personify femininity.  This whole mentality, that was portrayed well in movies like “Stepford Wives” and more deeply disturbing in “Revolutionary Road”, was reacted against strongly with some of the radical feminism, bra-burning, and practically testosterone infused womanhood of many in the boomer generation.

The scriptures, when interpreted correctly, offer a rational, balanced view of femininity and masculinity.  Women and men are equal (Gal. 3:28-29), but have different strengths and weaknesses, as well as roles that they will thrive in if fulfilled well.  This is impossible to believe unless one puts trust in God and believes that He set things up with our best in mind.  When put into practice, these things really work!  I can attest to it, because I’ve had both feminist and chauvinist leanings in times of error, as both a non-Christian and a follower of Jesus, and neither mentalities functioned well in reality, or brought peace and harmony into my relationships.

Ladies- men need Ephesians 5:21-24 from you to feel fulfilled as men of the Lord, and you’ll fill them with joy and love for you if you’ll respect, honor, and trust them to point you to Jesus in everything.  Dudes are gonna blow it and you’re going to have to forgive them!  What scripture is actually asking you to do is to love your men and honor them despite their mistakes.

Wives should be bragging about all of their man’s good qualities to people that they know!  Get behind him, support him.  Encourage him, believe in him.  Marriage and life brings people tough moments, and guys need their wives to make them feel strong, and to know without a doubt that their trust and support is always there.  This helps guys to flourish, and this is why God’s Word says that women need to submit to their husbands.  It won’t come natural!  It doesn’t to anybody!  Maybe some a little more than others, but it’s against human nature!  God has it there because it’s the way that wives were meant to love husbands.  It’s an act of faithfulness- like it is to do what Jesus is asking you to do.  We don’t always feel like doing everything God asks either, but when we do, it brings peace and blessing and joy.  And that’s also why Paul compares this submission to the church submitting to Christ.  Now, no man is Jesus, but as with most things of God, we’re being challenged to the highest level of respect and devotion, which is totally impossible of course.  We’ll mess up all the time!  But Christ will give us strength to do even what seems impossible!

Now men- check out all these extra verses for you!

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated their own body, but they feed and care for their body, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body. “For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.” This is a profound mystery—but I am talking about Christ and the church.  However, each one of you also must love his wife as he loves himself, and the wife must respect her husband.” (Eph. 5:25-33)

Now too many in our culture have heard those verses about wives “submitting” to their husbands, but have never heard what the Bible says that husbands are supposed to do!  It’s a much bigger deal, and a much higher responsibility.  I think God just knows that men are so ego-ed out that they really need to be reminded to be loving, self-sacrificing, gentle and humble!  Believe me, I’m the first to admit it!

Speaking of ego, some Christian guys misinterpret these verses.  They think that they’re the ones that are going to make their wives holy and blameless by their sacrificial love.  But notice what Paul says at the end; “This is a profound mystery- but I am talking about Christ and the church”…  It’s a lot like the passage to women- the word of God is setting up the highest standard possible.  Husbands should strive to imitate Christ and His sacrifice for the church in their relationship to their wives.  And guess what?  We’re going to blow it all the time, because we’re not Jesus!  There is no way that we could ever do what Christ did for the church- He was with God from the beginning of time in heaven, then came down to the earth in human form, lived a perfect life, and then was willingly murdered so that He could take the punishment for all the sins of humankind, and so that instead of having that punishment, we get to have the love from God that He has for Him!  But the more we admit that we’re not able to be like Christ, the more that Christ will be our strength to be the husbands we’re called to be.

See here’s the way of Christ men- for our wives to be able to submit to our spiritual leadership with joy, we’re going to have to give up our rights for them!  This will draw them closer to Jesus!  We’re to serve our wives with all our heart and lift them up.  We’re to make them the most important thing in our lives besides Jesus Himself!  We’re to always make them more important than friends, passions, hobbies, our jobs, and yes, I know it’s tough, but even our kids (who come in at a very close third place behind our wives second and God first!).

We’re to strive always to provide for our wives spiritually, emotionally, and financially.  We’re to stay strong and pour ourselves into the Word!  We’re to make our wives our number one ministry- the number one person that we are serving and loving, even more than kids if we have or will eventually have them.  We’re to pray with our wives, serve them, love them, and ask them what they want to do on Friday and Saturday nights!  We’re to value their opinions and always consider them!  We’re to give them the best of what we have!  We’re to put them first in everything.  I’m not talking about being miserable and not doing anything that we love guys, I’m talking about being considerate of our wife’s needs, her dreams, and her desires, as well as gently leading by example and word.  We need to do all we can to put our wife’s needs before ours!  They’ll be free to follow Jesus if we love them recklessly!  Care for them!  We need to be our wife’s shoulder to cry on!  We have to always be there to listen to her.  And yes- just like Jesus cares for His kids- the church- so we should care for our wives.  We must strive for it!  We’ll miss it all the time, take it from me!  I’m no expert at this!  But if we always keep our eyes on Christ and His love and sacrifice, and we’ll continue to grow!

For all of us married folks- we need great people in our lives that we can be open and transparent with.  These are people who will challenge us to walk with Jesus.  They’re people who won’t judge us or condemn us for the things we’re struggling with!  Tough times happen in marriage, and when we lean on others who love Jesus for strength, we are encouraged to keep moving forward with mercy and grace.  We need to get a great community of friends like this around us and keep em’ close!

Parents must be reminded what verse 31 says; “Therefore a man shall leave his father and mother and hold fast to his wife, and the two shall become one flesh.”  Out of respect for married couples they have to understand that their kids are becoming one flesh- which in one sense means that they’re a new family.  Not that parents won’t be there for their tots, but they’re going to have to let them make a few mistakes!

I know this is hard when you love your kids, but you need to respect them as adults now, trusting that the Lord will always continue to work in their lives and put people in their midst to speak truth in love to them!  Believe me, I’ve got a cute little baby daughter named Charlotte and can’t IMAGINE what this day is going to feel like when she gets married!  In so many senses you’ll always be their parents, but in so many other senses you’re going to be their friends and supporters now.  You have to let them live their lives out on their own, and you need to do the thing that’s going to seem impossible without faith and Christ’s help.  Let them go- and don’t try and control their lives in any way!  Just support them and be there for them.  Don’t try and get in the middle of their problems and have a sermon for every thing that they do wrong, but by the grace of Christ, love them and support them.  You guys will grow closer and closer as a family if you all play the right role!

Ultimately for all of us, both married and single, it’s good to be truthful with each other, and it’s ok to be angry.  But it’s not good to sin in anger, and it’s not good to say anything at all that doesn’t build another person up, and shower them with God’s grace.  Ultimately, we need to let go of bitterness, wrath, anger and slander, and be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving each other as God in Christ forgave us.

When we live, operate, breathe and walk in the forgiveness of Jesus Christ- that He laid down His life and shed His blood as a free gift after living a perfect life, and took the punishment for us when it would have been fitting for us to bear, we will create a LEGACY of the gospel that will be handed down to our children and their children’s children.

How Should Christians React to Miley Cyrus’ 2013 VMA Performance and “Wrecking Ball” Music Video?

I recently caught wind of the controversial performance that Hannah Montana, aka Miley Cyrus, did at the 2013 MTV VMA’s, as well as her new music video “Wrecking Ball”.  From what I heard described, I honestly thought the VMA performances were going to be some kind of S & M display of craziness.  My wife and I watched the performance, and I wasn’t really surprised at all by it.  As for the video, “Wrecking Ball”, in perfect honesty, I watched it for a minute and then turned it off, because I only want to think about my wife in any way like that, and intentionally guard myself from anything that would deter me.  But one conscientious observation I made of the video was the obvious sadness of the tune.  I tried to imagine if my daughter, Charlotte (now 14 months old- we love the little peanut!), were the star of the video.  I realized it would shake me to the core if that were the case.   No doubt, record sales and popularity will soar for Miley in the days to come.

Many Christians seem to be flabbergasted by their darling little Hannah Montana, who “In a 2007 interview, said that her faith is “the main thing” in her life, and (sounding like her father) she told USA Today that God wants her to be a “light, a testimony” in Hollywood (“Miley Cyrus Fulfills Her Destiny,” USA Today, January 1, 2007). (http://suite101.com/article/is-miley-cyrus-a-christian-a107568)

But honestly, isn’t Christianity a cultural phenomenon in America?  Being a “Christian” in some areas of the world can get someone socially ostracized, or potentially killed or imprisoned.  But in America, according to a recent gallup poll, seventy-seven percent of people identify themselves as “Christian”.  (http://www.gallup.com/poll/159548/identify-christian.aspx)  This includes people who would identify themselves as Mormons, Jehovah’s Witnesses, Protestants and Catholics, as well as Evangelicals, etc…

So I would first say to Christians that it shouldn’t be surprising at all when someone claims they’re a “Christian”, and then does things that seem contrary, or hypocritical, to that statement of faith.  After all, probably a majority of people that attend “Bible-believing” churches, especially in overly Christianized areas of the U.S., still say they believe that Jesus died for them, and yet don’t really act like it.  The difference between them and Miley Cyrus is that they’re not famous, and have a smaller sphere of influence.

It’s not appropriate, or biblical for Christians to make heavy moral judgments on Miley Cyrus, and tweet or Facebook about it.  I would point them to the fact that Jesus didn’t treat a prostitute, who was to receive death by stoning according to Mosaic law in the time of Jesus and before, with disdain and condemning hatred.  Rather, He offered her compassion coupled with forgiveness and an offer for repentance (and only Jesus can offer repentance!). (John 8:1-11)  What Miley Cyrus has done was no way even near to prostitution.  Rather, it was more likely a publicity stunt to boost record sales and public image.  Pop artists do things like she did all the time, and no one bats an eye, because it’s not someone who was formerly Hannah Montana.

I’m sure plenty of Christian religious folks will still label Miley a prostitute.  I would respond by saying that what the prostitute did in John 8 was definitely prostitution- i.e.- selling your body sexually for income, and any form of adultery was punishable by death in the Mosaic law (Lev. 20:10-21).  But grace and mercy trumped the law in God’s eyes, and Jesus reached out a hand of love and forgiveness to her.  Christians sadly desire to verbally “stone” Miley Cyrus, and speak hateful words about her.  They are proving that they would not respond with love and grace to a prostitute.  In this they are not responding like Jesus, whom they claim to worship as Savior and Lord.  And I will say it again, what Miley did was not prostitution.  It was certainly risque.  It certainly was sexually explicit.  But it was not prostitution.  I am reminded here of the story of one of my current Christian heroes, Annie Lobert, who was in fact a former prostitute, and now runs a powerful ministry to the Vegas Strip called “Hookers for Jesus”.  You can watch her story here, and if you have a tender soul, be prepared to weep and praise God because of her:  http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PMyrkXj1kF8.  I really only wish that more believers in Christ had love for Jesus and people like Annie does.  She inspires me to be more faithful!

On the flip side, it’s not good for Christians to display how “spiritual” they are in reaction to the situation.  “We should pray for her…”  “I’m just really disappointed”.  “I hope that she knows that God loves her”.  I know many of you will be offended at this, but let me ask you this question.  Think of a close friend of yours that claims they are a “Christian”, or maybe don’t even say they are, but you know they’re doing things that aren’t right…  Would you put out a tweet about them asking everyone to “pray for them”?  If you wouldn’t do that about someone you know, because you’d want to lovingly protect their integrity, then what gives you the right to do it about someone you don’t know at all?  Let’s face it, Miley will likely find it offensive that a plethora of Christians are tweeting about how we ought to “pray for her”.  My advice is, if you’re going to pray for her, follow Jesus’ advice about it; “When you pray, go into your room and shut the door and pray to your Father who is in secret. And your Father who sees in secret will reward you.” (Matthew 6:6)

My point is, as followers of Jesus, we should want whatever is good for Miley Cyrus.  We shouldn’t want anything to deter her from the love, beauty and purity of Jesus.  So there is a time to keep quiet and not act all high and holy, or deeply pious with a plastic facade of being “loving”.  We should leave it up to Miley’s friends that truly love and follow Jesus to reflect Jesus to her.  If we can’t be in her life to be a shoulder to cry on, or someone to take her out to coffee and listen to her, then we have absolutely no right at all to speak into her life.  And I think that also goes for pretty much everyone else.  Let’s focus on loving, serving, being an example to, and telling the truth about Jesus to those that we find ourselves in contact with in our day to day lives.

Related articles

• Miley Cyrus: Naked, Riding Wrecking Ball in New Music Video (thehollywoodgossip.com)